Podcast Episode #35:
Handle Conflict 

Overview of Episode #35:

• Get better at having difficult conversations and discussing problems
• Learn a four step process for handling conflict, a process I teach in client workshops.
• Download the Planning Worksheet and P.R.E.P. Memory Jogger Card
• Today's podcast is brought to you by audible.com - get a FREE audio book download and 30 day free trial at www.audibletrial.com/wakeupeagerworkforce Over 150,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle or mp3 player.
  

Timing on Recording: @ 3:30 ---

Topic 1: Reflecting on Conflict

• Quote from Max Lucado  "Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”  
• Reflecting on conflict 
  
• Conflict statements - do you agree or disagree?  
  
• Stats and facts about conflict
  
• A structure to follow
  
• All models are imperfect, but most are useful.
  

Timing on Recording: @  20:05---

Topic 2: The Four How to Handle Conflict Like a Pro Steps

• 1) P. Plan the Conversation
• 2) R. Review the Three Reasons
• 3) E. Emotion Check
• 4) P. Perfect Listening Skills
  

Timing on Recording: @   21:07---

Topic 3:  The First P.R.E.P. Step - P.PLAN

• This is how you will start the conversation; be able to state the problem clearly, factually and succinctly; list your ideas for solutions
• W.P.S.A.  (MASTER WORKSHEET)
• PODCAST #25 –  Accountability Series: Effective Course Correction Conversation Model in Four Steps: W.P.S.A
  

Timing on Recording: @ 28:00 ---

Topic 4:  The Second and Third P.R.E.P. Steps:  R. Review Three Reasons - E. Emotion Check

• Review Three Reasons: Style difference? Interest difference? History?
• See Tips for Style and Motivator/Interest Differences - side two of the  P.R.E.P. Memory Jogger Card
• Emotion Check:  HALT – if you are hungry angry lonely or tired, what are you going to do? 
  HALT. – sleep on it.
  

Timing on Recording: @  34:45---
Topic 5:   The Fourth P.R.E.P. step  P. Perfect Listening Aggressively Skills

• Listening aggressively means that you are focused on hearing in a determined and energetic way.  When you are doing it well, you demonstrate your desire to understand by asking questions and listening with no agenda other than to understand.  
• Actions: Don’t interrupt, full attention, ask probing questions, seem to understand even if they don’t agree. Listens and tells me what they think,  creates safety, acknowledges the emotions – does not try to suppress, Present with me – tuned into to me  (Podcast #25  How Leaders Can Use the Power of Relational Presence to Engage and Influence)
• Why this matters so much in conflict...
• Negative Listening Habits Quiz
• Wall Street Journal article, Why You Should Never Tell Someone To Relax
• Four actions you can take to listen aggressively:  (Podcast #13 - Four Skills Best Bosses Have Mastered & Best and Worse Boss Stories...)
  R. P.S.A.-R. Reflect - Is to: Verify and Clarify.“Sounds like you feel frustrated and stressed about how your workload has gone up with the extra work from that other department…”
  
  P. Probe - Is to: Ask Clarifying Questions to Understand.“Will this extra work from the other department continue, for how long, what have you tried…, etc."
  
  S. Supporting – Is to: Demonstrate that you've heard and that you understand."It seems like this has been a challenging time trying to juggle all of this – and its  made your every day job harder…”
  
  Advising – Share your view or a different view “Let’s talk about what can happen to make sure my messages, files and status updates happen. Client relationships for our department hang in the balance… are there things you can do."
• “The greatest compliment that was ever paid to me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”-Henry David Thoreau ---

• Ted Talk – Megan Phelps-Rogers shares how she learned to communicate with people who have different viewpoints in an extreme situation, and how it changed her life.  For ALL leaders who want to get better at feedback, conflict, building trust and communication overall - POWERFUL story (2+ million views) 



Related Podcasts Mentioned in This Episode: 

Podcast #13 - Four Skills Best Bosses Have Mastered & Best and Worse Boss Stories...
Podcast #22 Accountability Series: Effective Course Correction Conversation Model
in Four Steps: W.P.S.A
Podcast #25  How Leaders Can Use the Power of Relational Presence to Engage and Influence

 Books Mentioned in This Podcast: Crucial Conversations
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